Turn back time 😝

And just like that she’s gone.

I’ve been dumped.

My midwifery partner of the past six years has retired. Now after 18 years of being on call who can blame her? However, I feel like I did back at 14 when my first boyfriend dumped me - but now I can’t exactly throw myself on the bed and sob dramatically while Cher belts out ‘Turn back time’ on my mixed tape. Instead I have to act all mature and supportive and bloody adulty.

We’ve been through a lot together, she’s supported me as a relatively new grad into becoming a competent midwife and through all the highs and lows and head smacking that involves. Together we went into business and helped establish our local birthcentre. It was no mean feat fighting for that one and it’s something we will always be proud of providing for our community and colleagues.

We’ve helped each other out through hard, sad times at work, exhausting stretches where we just couldn’t go on, and many times we’ve glanced across a room and known exactly what the other was needing or the really un-PC thought they were having. No money ever passed our hands when we covered for each other, we had a theory that it all worked out in the end. Swings and roundabouts it was. We had each other’s back every step of the way.

In six years of knowing and relying on each other so well we have never had an argument. Although I shake my head every now and then when she goes off on some tangent and I have to put my hand up to interrupt her like a school kid, I wouldn’t change a thing. What you see is what you get. Literally. If she doesn’t like something you know about it. As I tell all my clients, she’s ‘straight up’ you always know where you stand and what to expect.

I have spent a bit of time teaching her to make a ‘shit sandwich’ when it comes to talking to people who don’t know her well. Put some flowery stuff either side of your point I say - hell even a hello and goodbye would help! I like to think I made some progress as she does get me to proof some things first now lol.

She gave me plenty of notice and arranged this divorce all the right way, even staying on longer than she wanted to. But even though I’ve been expecting it for ages and thought I had accepted it, I found myself behaving like that 14-year-old and having a good little sob in the car.

Very unlike me that sort of behaviour. Don’t worry though, I gave myself a talking to. My feeling sorry for myself won’t be helped by the other person preparing to leave me - my 18 year old son - my first born!

Now although sometimes I think our relationship would be much better if he didn’t live at home, we are going to miss him terribly as he moves into his own flat. Although he assures me he will be home for dinner every night, which is actually highly likely. He will also need to use my washing machine - it will be interesting to see how long the piles sit there waiting for me to do them before I turf them out on the lawn. This is a technique I regularly employ now with his gumboots when they are left in the doorway (I have only got over zealous the once and lost a boot in the river).

Usually I do life changes well, I tend to welcome it and get all over excited, but all these decisions have not been my own and obviously I’m not so good when it’s that way around. I like to be in charge and I like things to be my idea (I’ll have to put a spin on it and convince myself I planned it all). Right now I’ve had four weeks on call in a row and it’s hard to see the upside of the change. Two weeks to go now and my locum is giving me a weekend off. It will be a long wait until my awesome new midwifery partner is ready to start in March. My five hour drive to do only two postnatal visits today has given me plenty of time to reflect!

So this blog is an ode to my one of a kind mate, my brilliantly skilled midwifery partner, my other hubby... go well my friend. You will be sorely missed by me and the women of the King Country.