Patience and piss takes

My life has screamed to a complete halt while we play the waiting game.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a baby due and now I suddenly have two. You get used to not taking your phone anywhere and I really enjoy making those spur of the moment decisions to go to the beach or go for a horse ride. But now I don’t have a midwifery partner for that regular time off, there is just no break. It’s cementing that I don’t think I can go back to being on call.

The client I have that is now 41.4 weeks pregnant, laboured quite fast with her first baby. She lives 40 minutes from my house to the south west, on a gravel road in the direction further away from civilisation. She’s having a home birth. I will need to get there pronto when she calls. So for the past three weeks there’s been no riding, no ‘ginning’, hardly any ceramics work as getting called away mid make can be a disaster.  I’ve decided that I don’t think you can be a midwife and live on a lifestyle block and have hobbies. To do this job easily you need to live in an apartment and only like knitting. Maybe at a stretch you could have a cat.

Not a geriatric cat, two horses and FOUR dogs (long story involving one homeless son 🙄)

It hasn’t helped that I know she has really good snacks awaiting me. This lovely woman hit my hubby up for my favourite treats. Now that’s unexpected and going above and beyond. She told him that with her last baby “I had worked my butt off throughout the entire night so wanted to make sure I was well fuelled this time round”.  (You can read that story in the blog titled: The Switch) Now isn’t that sweet!

Although slightly spoiled when she went on to say that she also didn’t want me ‘hangry’.

Fair 🤣

So for the past few days we have been doing all the tricks I know to get this baby out. Rebozo, weird positional moves, homeopathy, acupuncture, stretch and sweep. We’ve had one false alarm that was very entertaining. She had a post dates scan booked and I was trying to clarify if it was worth her making the 90 min drive as she said she had ‘menstrual type pain’ but that it definitely wasn’t contractions.

Now with her consent I’ve pasted her wording here, you midwives will love this.

“It’s not a constant pain. It is intermittent, just the same as bad period pain, but doesnt seem to be at regular intervals that I have been able to tell.

It varys from dull to reasonably uncomfortable.

It is very low, like where you get period cramps and often in my back too. Sometimes just in my back.

Don’t think it’s contractions. I am so confused about what a contraction even is right now?”

So I told her that I was no expert, but she had just given the classic description of early labour contractions 🤣. In fairness, this confusion is common for women whose waters break before contractions start with their first baby. Then if waters are intact when contractions start for the following baby, it has a cushioning effect and is often not as painful. This belief that ‘it doesn’t hurt enough yet’ accounts for a fair few unplanned home-births in the shower with baby number two.

Anyhoo. She went for her scan, all was fine with Bub and the contractions of course went away.

On vaginal exam I can tell that this baby has their head tipped to the side in an acynclitic position. As a result it’s not putting enough pressure on the cervix from the inside to establish labour. It’s the reason for this mucking around. So there’s been lots of rebozo (Mexican in origin where you shake the tummy with a scarf like you are sifting flour, until my triceps give out and I teach the partner how to do it). Homeopathy for induction, acupuncture for optimal position, some deep squats and other limbo moves. We’ve become pretty close and have a lot of laughs through all these shenanigans.

Before today’s sifting session I got her to go head down bum up for 30 minutes in the hope that it would raise baby out of the pelvis so it could realign its head. She sent me a selfie of the pose.

I sent back that “What would work even better is if you could put your legs behind your ears and sort of lean to the left side.”  Now I was completely joking - but she’s so invested that she replied “so I lie on my back?”

Gold. Don’t worry I didn’t get her to attempt it.

My friend who will be the second midwife for this home birth suggested curb walking to budge baby. Now that made me laugh, in the country we don’t even call it that. There are no curbs. We call it walking round the side of a hill, dodging the sheep poo in the paddock. So she’s done that too.

And wonders of wonders this afternoon we have SROM!!!! And need to avoid another PROM as per the previous blog 😬

Translates as spontaneous rupture of membranes and prolonged rupture of membranes.

Wish us luck.

I’m very excited about the blue cheese and pistachios awaiting me. Maybe I’ll go early 😉