The joy of being a waste of space.

Midwives giving birth. There’s a whole lot of stuff going on there.

I thought I was lucky, I’d already had mine before I started my midwifery training. I didn’t have any over analysing of what was going on in my pregnancy. 20 or so years ago I just happily ate too much sugar, didn’t exercise and was oblivious to anything pre the baby’s arrival. I’m now embarrassed to say I did absolutely no research and just hoped for the best. Which is probably why I now foist so much info onto my clients. But not being a midwife yet there was no pressure for me to perform, to decline pain relief and rock the birthing world.

Being the eternal optimist I had no fears about the risks of having a baby. I was just going to have a baby. Job done. I no doubt thought raising them would be easy too!

I’ve had midwife clients having their first baby before and I always feel for them. They’ve seen sad outcomes, emergencies and other peoples pain up very close and personal, they must head into their own births with a lot of baggage, fear of judgement and feeling the pressure to be a rockstar.

I’m not saying that’s right (they also have a lot of awesome knowledge and a belief in birth), but I reckon it’s close.

But the most recent birth I had made me question this thinking. Because this midwife’s knowledge of what was happening physiologically inside her own body really helped her. Sure, some women have an easier labour journey than others, but I’ve never seen a first time mama be so present and make me feel so superfluous!

I didn’t know her very well, a colleague had looked after her  antenatally while I was living my other life as a potter. But having caught that colleague’s latest baby only a couple of months ago, she didn’t want to be the midwife for someone’s long first labour as she needed to be around for feeding him. So I was it, and my colleague would be the second midwife attending for the action moments only (for hopefully a short time) at the other midwife’s home birth. That’s right, three midwives in this story.

One old - pretending to be wise, one with loads of children - and leaky boobs and the main one - in labour. Let’s call the main one Natalie.

So Natalie rang me in the morning to say her waters had broken. Well actually I rang her. She had phoned twice and my daughter had to hunt me down and bring me the phone in the shower. I really am slacking having only the one client! Yes the baby was moving, yes the waters were clear, mild niggles only.  And she was off to the dentist! Now me, I would have used labour as an excuse to avoid the dentist, but each to their own. Then - and this proves she’s a midwife - I did not hear from her again for twelve whole hours! (Not that I slept, no matter how much I tried to have an early night).

Now that right there is not normal for a first time mum. I was loving having a midwife client right then! Anyway after my half hour drive at midnight I arrived to that deep guttural birth moaning sound as she was kneeling beside the bed. Natalie looked to be in pretty advanced labour.

So then there was the frantic pool filling and setting up of my gear. No time to be much emotional support for the mama. But really I don’t think she needed it.  Fifteen minutes after being in the pool she made a pushy noise at the peak of the contraction and I decided to phone the second midwife.

Time went even quicker then. After some deep breathing of the baby down Natalie came back from the far away place she had been and began to talk to me between contractions. She was kneeling in the pool and I couldn’t see the action end. I was expecting at least an hour of pushing, but the first thing she said was “the heads there”.  Pleasantly surprised by this I asked how far inside? “No it’s nearly out” was the calm response. Then she stretched up straighter and turned to me with this amazing beatific smile that I will never forget. It was joyful, I felt so honoured to be there. I remember laughing myself at the same time as I felt my colleagues hand on my back, which was her way of telling me she had arrived. All was right with the world, it was peaceful and beautiful. Next contraction Natalie talked her partner through catching the baby and raising him up from under the water. Who does that? Not many first time mama that’s for sure.  What a legend.

I’ve never felt so redundant and so blown away all at once. How lucky am I to be a baby catcher. Or in this case a baby catcher’s watcher!

Thank you Natalie.