The baker, the plumber, the IT guru and the geriatric midwife.

Easter Friday I wanted to be all Martha Stewart and make hot cross buns. Some of my girlfriends were doing the same and competitive pics were flying around. I of course didn’t do my research and left my run a bit late. What was supposed to be a late lunch got rescheduled for afternoon tea then after working on the bloody things ALL afternoon we eventually had buns for dinner. With that amount of effort there was no way anything else was happening in my kitchen that night. No 1 daughter bloody whisked up a batch of cinnamon scrolls in the middle and completely stole my glory. Now four days on and the leftovers are still around - so not wanting to be wasteful I will have to make mums bread and butter pudding with it.

So I text mum and talked her through how to take a pic of the recipe and send it on messenger. Now my mum is a bit famous in the family for being technically challenged but she has been participating in the family chat group so I had hope. Instead of sending me a pic she accidentally video called us. There was a lot of shouting at us to go away as she couldn’t figure out how to hang up. Her grandkids took this as a great excuse to bail and left me and my sister to deal. It was very entertaining but I haven’t seen that angle of looking up my mums nostrils since I was breastfeeding! She ended by shouting “Hooroo” then I heard her say “God help me!”

Then tonight dad decides he would like to trial Zoom to practice with his band. In the end I had to messenger video whilst talking them through the zoom connection (which I’ve never used) on their other device. It was a complete debacle involving a lot of yelling and a lot of siblings and not surprisingly not many of the younger generation who mostly declined to answer - wiser than I thought! After around 20 minutes of talking dad actually asked if we were zooming now. He had no idea which app he was using. At least we won’t have to do it again. The idea of having to talk his band members through the process was obviously a bit daunting.

The trouble with all these group chats is that no one has anything to say.

How was your day?

Boring!

What did you do?

Same as yesterday.

Got any plans for the week?

Same as today.

Riveting!

I did try to download another app to do mind training incase my short term memory loss is the onset of dementia and not just thinking about too much at once. The app looked very encouraging. But whilst entering my details I had to select an age group. My recent birthday means I have been categorised into the second to last option before death!!!

Needless to say I didn’t download.

Our kitchen sink blocked up this week too (providing a good example of memory loss). I told husband after his night shift and much to my supreme astonishment he got up straight away to sort. I KNOW - unbelievable! So he removed the s bend and disappeared outside with it. I promptly forgot and washed out the hot cross bun baking bowls. Now I don’t know about you guys but the cupboard underneath my kitchen sink has everything in it bar the kitchen sink! I didn’t even realise what I’d done but husband’s over reaction and shouting, sleep deprived, rant was very entertaining when he wasn’t even the one that had to clean it up! I forgave him. Night shifts are hard.

I had my own big night this week. I went to bed because I knew something was up at 9.30pm. Phone went at 11pm and things were all go, no more sleep for me. Off to the hospital we went. I haven’t been there since before lockdown but in the middle of the night - apart from a lot of signage - not a lot was different for me. A PPE gown and mask where found tucked away in a cupboard, otherwise it was just me and my client and her one support person. Which was less than she wanted and hard for her.

A lot of women have had to adjust their birth plans due to COVID. Every single one of them has understood the reasoning behind the restrictions but every single one of them has found it hard. After baby is born normally the dad can stay with his partner and baby. But not at the moment. My client went to the ward on her own and he had to go home. I bet that was a lonely hours drive for him. But at least he was there for the birth. My back up had a client this week whose husband couldn’t attend the birth because they had no one in their bubble to mind the other children.

A lot of women are now also going straight home after having their baby to be with their family. At the birthcentre and hospital they can’t see their other children and introduce them to their new siblings, or as in the above situation they would be without their support person if they stayed. Sometimes they just don’t want the extra exposure to the staff on duty due to COVID. So that’s all understandable, but it does mean more work for us community midwives. At the birthcentre they could ring the bell for help with every feed and to get every question answered. So leaving early means they are without any breastfeeding support unless we visit often.

A lot of my time antenatally is spent supporting women after a traumatic first birth or one that didn’t follow their idea of how it should have gone. There is often a lot to work through with clients who are afraid of what is going to happen this time round. I firmly believe that as long as each woman feels she was in control of all the decision making and completely understood the pros and cons of those particular decisions then her grief process when things don’t go as expected is a much easier ride. If a woman can walk away feeling like she tried all the options to achieve her goal, but it still didn’t pan out, then at least she knows she did everything she could. So the more tricks I can have in my midwifery toolbox the better. Homeopathy and acupuncture and weird impossible positions have saved the day many a time. That way I too get to walk away knowing I tried everything I could. It sure makes acceptance of the unplanned outcome a lot easier after a loooong night at work.

So my week was spent like that, a bit of yelling, lots of laughs, encouraging words, beeping machines, misplaced bodily fluids and a few tears witnessed too. All ending with that lovely moment of getting to place a much awaited baby into a new mum’s arms.

Nice.