Highs and lows.

I rang my mum who I’ve been missing and she tells me she had just finished her daily ‘Shit patrol’. Whaaaaaat mum????

Now those that know my mum know that she’s very proper. She doesn’t swear. Ever. She always looks immaculate, she knows which side the dessert fork goes on as well as where every apostrophe belongs. When we were kids we could tell the type of disaster from a distance by the word uttered. “Bugger!” Meant she had dropped something and it was definitely broken. “Shit!” Was reserved for a major fright and was always squeeled at a high pitch. “Damn!” meant she was really pissed off because something hadn’t worked out right - it was wise to stay in your room in case it was your fault.

So a ‘Shit Patrol’ was a tad out of character and required investigating. Turns out there is a group of five friends that ring each other every few days.

They check in to say how absolutely shit some things are and have a vent about being above 70 and locked down. So basically it’s a sanity check. She throws in one random relative every day too and it takes her to about lunchtime to finish. By the time I called at around 3pm she was complaining about being on the phone too much. So I told her she was now on my ‘Shit list’ and I would phone her back in a few days.

I also got phoned myself today about a 3D printed face mask - I applied for five for my colleagues and I via face book. They are making them this week and waiting on some supplies. He didn’t want me thinking I was forgotten and is hoping to get them to us by the end of the week. He wouldn’t accept my thanks really, just said we were the ones out there on the front line and it’s the least they could do. I’m assuming ‘they’ is a group of high school teachers? I realised when I hung up that I actually had no idea. So thanks Shane from Hamilton - whoever you are! Aren’t people amazing!

Work wise over the past few days has been quiet on the birth front. But there seems to be urgent stuff every morning then a chill afternoon. So today I tried sneaky sleeping in and not opening emails till later on. This avoidance system didn’t work though, I ended up just running around like a blue arsed fly trying to catch up. A poor client was marooned at pathlab waiting for me to ring and sort it because the new system of form sending hadn’t worked. Another was sadly having a miscarriage.

Miscarriage support is a big part of a midwife’s work and not a side that gets talked about much out in the world. Often it happens with clients we haven’t even met yet except for a phone conversation or an email. We need to suddenly make a connection, be informative and empathetic all at the same time - with no chance to prepare. It’s an out of the blue phone call when you might be riding a horse, having a drink with mates or asleep in bed. And it’s so important you say the right thing. It has become easier to know what it helps to say with more practice over the years, but it sure still changes the tone of your day and you carry it with you for a while.

But that’s the nature of the work. Highs and lows, just like life. It’s never boring for sure - and I wouldn’t want it to be. Sharing that moment when a woman become’s a mother is I think the high for me, it never gets old. Even exhausted and still faced with hours of work after the birth - establishing breastfeeding, checking the baby, sorting excessive blood loss, suturing, showering, doing the stupid copious paperwork - that moment watching her face as she first holds her baby, you aren’t thinking about any of that. As a midwife in that moment I’m just feeling her joy and both our relief! Baby is finally here.

So here’s to the one in four babies that don’t arrive and those amazing women that keep on keeping on.