Country chaos

Rural midwifery on a beautiful day like today is just awesome. Today I passed Kereru, Rosellas and wild fallow deer were even on the road running for cover. I managed a horse ride in the beautiful king country hills in between my visits, I could see Mount Pirongia, Mt Karioi and Mt Ruapehu all at once. All blessed and smug I was. You can imagine! I even got to gobble at some turkeys.

But a couple of days ago in the rain it was a completely different story.

The night before I thought there was going to be a frost. Now when you live in an unfinished house and are married to an ex builder - who dislikes building - an internal access garage is a pipe dream I have only accomplished once in my life (for about a week between finishing and selling that house 🙄). Anyhoo, back to the frost, my car lives outside and when you roar outside at four on a frosty morning this is not a good thing. Especially not when the woman on the phone sounds pushy. Calmly waiting for the demister to work after you haven’t even had the time to tie the converse laces is an impossibility. And I NEVER remember to take warm water outside with me. So there is always the swearing, door slamming, slip sliding return back to the house for the jug.

So that’s the background, the other night I was all prepared like all good Girl Scouts and thought I would put newspaper sheets on the windscreen (my mums idea!) apparently you just peel them off along with the ice and bobs your uncle.

But it was a bit windy, so in my problem solving mode I thought I would splash water on the sheets to stick it to the window. Not a good plan to use a drink bottle down wind I discovered.

Next morning there was no frost, but a whole lot of rain and subsequently a whole lot of little pieces of wet paper flicking off the windshield as I roared down the driveway.

This was after I had already changed clothes twice. I risked wearing my good jeans while moved the horses fence, got a shock while climbing over - so ended up sitting on top of the fence and got a wet, dirty line across my arse.

Now postnatal visits in the country side should not be undertaken in the rain. And not when you forget your gum boots. For some reason rain makes farmers shut their gates, and it’s never just the one. It also seems to cause goats to come out on to the road for formula one practice. It means I’m all rugged up with loads of layers and pretending to embrace the frizzy, windswept look. Then once inside someone’s home trying not to sweat on the baby.

When it rains, it’s always the day you have to go back to the car four times for things you don’t normally take inside. This day at one house I went back for a nipple shield, a breast pump, a handout on reflux and AGAIN for an osteopath’s card. Then when I left I had to go back in for my keys. Why I would take my keys in when parked up in the middle of nowhere is completely the rains fault.

A rainy day is always the day you can’t find the right house. Instructions like “yep we are the last house down that race, take the first left fork then at the massive macrocarpa - you don’t go down that one - but it’s huge you can’t miss it, keep going and at the Barbery hedge veer right, but if that gate’s shut it’s easier to come in the other way, don’t worry, any idiot could find it”. Hmmmm cheers.

So in and out of four houses, four babies checked over and weighed, care plans adjusted, reassurance given, two coffees imbibed, one toddler tamed, a fair few laughs about parenting had and 180kms travelled over six hours. Lunch was eaten on the run with some stored for later on my shirt. Lots of audiobook listened to on the way - bonus! At the last house there were three gates, I had to take my shoes off and wipe the shit off them (yes actual shit) on the grass before I got back in the car.

On the way back to town I passed four horse riders driving a herd of beefies, at the speed we were moving for the next fifteen minutes I could wind down my window and have a chat. Turns out it was the fulla I bought my horse off. Got a lot of good natured ribbing about me falling off. Sometimes I despair about trying to keep a secret in this small community!

Rural midwifery at its finest.

post rain my horse has changed colour! 🙄

A gaggle? of Turkeys. I wasn’t expecting that!